


In Cape Town

by plutobucky



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic! at the Disco - Freeform, Ryden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 01:32:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11704026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutobucky/pseuds/plutobucky
Summary: Brendon is worried about Ryan.Ryan doesn't leave.





	In Cape Town

**Author's Note:**

> this is an old fic i wrote around the middle of last year that i never got around to posting.

Nine in the afternoon, it was the last song for the set they were playing in Cape Town. Brendon sung each note with content, he seemed to notice Ryan & Jon acting a bit off though.

_They're probably just tired._

Is all he thought before continuing with the song, hands running down the neck of the guitar, fingers plucking at the strings to match that of the song. Beads of warm sweat rolled down his back and neck as the song came to an end.

_Something is off._  

His eyebrows knit tightly together but he gave a goodbye to the crowd that had been watching them anyways, they all waved back, cheered, and screamed as they all made their way off of the stage. All the members of the band headed off in their own directions as they had a couple of hours before they were to leave Cape Town and return to their homes to hopefully be able to receive a little bit of peace. Although they had their own time, Ryan followed Brendon, the younger boy was slightly confused by his actions as he usually never followed him after a show.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah Brendon?"

"Why are you following me?"

Ryan stopped, Brendon, hearing the loss of noise, the shuffling of feet, bounding in the corridors, stopped along with him. The older boy's head dropped to the ground, hair hanging over the front of his face before he looked back up at Brendon again.

"Ryan?"

"I'm gonna ask you this again. Why were you-"

Ryan cuts him off, his words rushing into Brendon's.

"We need to talk."

Brendon could see the seriousness evident in the older boy's eyes

Brendon sighed heavily, as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders, but it wasn't, he slouched his shoulders again.

"About what, exactly?"

Ryan's eyes flickered around the hallways, eyes darting from the ceiling to the floor, there was nothing too interesting about them, but Brendon could tell he was stalling, as if he didn't want to say what he was about to say.

"Jon and I..."

"Yeah?"

"We'd like to leave the band."

Brendon's face dropped, his eyebrows knitted tighter together than they were before, this was absurd, it wasn't true, was it?

"You're joking with me, right? Is it because I stole your Beetles vinyls that one time or-"

"Brendon. It's just that. We want to make different music, like the type of music we did in a fever you can't sweat out, we want to lead it in that direction."

"W-why do you have to leave though?"

"Brendon, you know I can't stay if we want to make different kinds of music, it just won't work out."

"But-"

"I've gotta put my guitar away now anyways, I'll see you in a second."

Ryan ran off in the other direction, towards the tour bus, feet padding against the marble floor, away from Brendon. Brendon couldn't believe what he had just heard, was he going crazy? Was he having hallucinations? No, he couldn't be. It was real, realer than any reality that he'd ever been in. It hit him like a wall of bricks.

Ryan was leaving the band, although he did care about Jon too, Brendon had loved Ryan, he'd loved him since he first tripped over the wires for the amps on the stage and nearly kissed him, he'd loved him since they sang together in the same microphone. But now those moments and memories didn't matter anymore, did they? They were just things that he was left with to think on his own, of course Ryan didn't love him. He never would. He wasn't gay anyways.

Brendon's back hit the corridor wall as he swayed uneasily, his knees buckled underneath him and he slid against the wall, cool to the touch. He reminisced over all the times he'd spent with Ryan, all the laughs that they'd shared, all the things that they'd done together, but that didn't matter to Ryan anymore, did it? The younger boy wrapped his arms tightly around his knees and slowly buried his face into them. His knuckles clenched as he clung onto his black jeans, palms turning white with every grasp. He was trying not cry, to not let the tears escape his eyes, he hadn't cried in a long time, that's because he didn't enjoy it, he felt that it made him weak.

A single, cold tear trailed down his face, which was followed by many more, he choked back his sobs, keeping them in the back of his throat, he didn't want to be crying over something so stupid, Ryan didn't care about him anyways. But he loved Ryan, he loved Ryan so much it hurt so much just to think about what he had said to him minutes earlier. The pain was aching to his heart, his words stabbed him like knives.

"You're selfish." Brendon mumbled to himself, choking back another sob.

"You don't deserve him anyways."

~

The older boy had placed his guitar in the tour bus, he was meant to leave the band, wasn't he? It was the right thing to do, he loved Brendon, and he couldn't allow himself to fall any further for him. Ryan played a short tune on the guitar before placing it back down again from where he had originally positioned it and hopped off the tour bus.

The breeze of the night chilled against his coat, it was cold. With a slow pace, he made his way back into the venue, pacing down corridors until he finally found Brendon where he had left him. He saw the younger boy curled up against the wall, knuckles dug into his jeans, cheeks damp and moist from a fresh batch of tears. Ryan felt the guilt scrape at his heart, he had realised he was the cause of this, he was why Brendon was crying and hurt.

Ryan realised that Brendon had not yet realised his appearance yet so he continued to inspect him further, he looked so vulnerable, in his small form. Back against the wall, face into his knees, tears down his eyes, and yet Ryan hated seeing him like this, he felt pangs of pain bash at his heart repeatedly.

Brendon had finally seemed to notice Ryan and he wiped the tears off his face pretending as nothing had happened. He frowned again, eyebrows creasing.

"What do you want?"

He was trying to act tough.

"Brendon I'm sorry, I just-"

"You can't say sorry now, can you? You've left the band, now leave!"

Brendon didn't mean anything he said, he just wanted Ryan away from him so that he didn't have to see him cry.

"Look Brendon-"

"I said go!"

Brendon yelled a bit louder this time. Ryan didn't budge though. Brendon got more frustrated than intended to and ended up getting up himself, pushing his way past the older boy. But Ryan had other plans, he grabbed Brendon's wrist, snatching it and pulling him back.

Their faces were close as Ryan spoke.

"Brendon, I'm sorry, I-"

Brendon looked into Ryan's eyes again and everything had held in until that moment had burst out. The younger boy wrapped his arms around Ryan's torso as he buried his head into Ryan's back. Sobs left his lips, tears streaked his cheeks, pain stabbed at his heart. But he loved it, he loved it all, being able to feel Ryan's soft embrace as he willingly hugged him back, giving him the comfort that he needed.

"I'm sorry Brendon..."

Ryan had finally managed to say after Brendon had stopped crying. He gave him a tight smile in return. Ryan was about to turn away to head back to the tour bus when it was Brendon who grabbed at his wrist this time.

"Brendo-"

The younger boy smashed his lips against the older boy's. Ryan was a bit reluctant at first but soon began to enjoy it, his hands travelled up Brendon's thighs, they hung loosely around Brendon's neck. They grabbed at each other's hair, they did whatever they could to steal each bit of warmth, every bit of the moment, they loved it all. They want every piece of it so they could remember, so they could remember what it was like to touch, what it was like to hug, what it was like to love.

They soon stopped and pushed themselves off of each other.

"Brendon. I, I love you."

Ryan murmured staring at his feet with a warm shade of red parading across his cheeks.

"I love you too."

Brendon whispered back at him, pulling him into a warm embrace this time.

"Please promise you'll never leave me."

"Never."

"Promise?"

"Yeah. I don't ever wanna leave you, in Cape Town."

They both smiled at each other.

Ryan began singing a tune.

"I saw you. I met you. I loved you. I left you, in Cape Town."

"What?"

"That's how it would've been if I didn't come back, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah... I'm glad you didn't."

They both gave each other one more grin before walking back to the tour bus.


End file.
